I've been thinking today about strangers whose wisdom and kindness have changed my life for the better. The first is a doctor a the National Health Institute. I can't remember her name, but she wrote a paper on Histiocytoid Cardiomyopathy, the name they gave to the heart condition that killed our daughter Haley. I read her paper, which catelogued the 50 known cases, when I was seven-months pregnant with Talmage. I was alarmed to see that about 50% of the victims also had siblings with the same condition. I called the NIH and asked to speak with her. I'm afraid, that was one of the situations where my tough exterior did not hold up and I started crying on the phone. The public information officer told me to get control of myself and he went to call the doctor to the line. I asked her what we should do to keep this disease from affecting our son, soon to be born? She said, "Pray you never see this disease again, because it cannot be treated." I don't know if she meant "Pray" in the conversational sense or pray in the faith sense. But I seized onto that. If the doctors were at a loss as to what to do, I could turn to my Heavenly Father with complete confidence in his skills and judgement, and I would ask my family to pray for Talmage as well. And did they ever.
I told her that I'd always wanted to have five or six children and I didn't want to lose more children. She told me it's possible I could have more children and they'd all live to adulthood. She didn't tell me percentages, just that it was possible. Of course it was and that was a fact. I've always been very guided by logic and so it was one of those moments that helped me begin to go forward with my life and not let fear prevent me from acheiving my hearts desires. It brought to mind a quote that my seventh grade English teacher, Mrs. Clark, wrote on the chalkboard that I've never forgotten. "A coward dies a thousand times." I've experienced death. Not my own, but Haley's. That is not the kind of torment I needed to undergo unless it really happens. And here I am today with four healthy boys with no heart defects and a lifetime ahead of them. She'll never know the affect she had on me, Clint and four other lives.
What strangers have affected your lives for good?
4 comments:
Wow Sarah. To think what it must have been like to have that very real fear of losing multiple children and then letting go of that. I like that you said you are driven by logic. I bet she has no idea she helped you do that, but really that wasn't her. She was just an instrument and an answer to probably hundreds of people's prayers for your comfort. Speaking of your precious and healthy boys, luke wrote his first book today called Jack and Tal visit the moon. And it is awesome. I can't wait to read it to you. Thank you for sharing this Sarah. I sure love you.
Did Luke write it or dictate it? What a smarty pants. We'd love to see it.
thanks for sharing that. maybe you should tell her how she affected you. i for some reason was under the impression the disease was treatable, but knowing this now i am even more amazed by your strength and your faith. you inspire me and have changed me for good many times without knowing it. one way you did that was the times you let me ride my bike along with you when you went jogging and just listened to me ramble on about my life. i needed that and always felt like you cared about me.
Reading these two posts you've written and your friends and sisters' comments have changed your father's and my life for the better this morning. We love and thank you and thank the Lord for you.
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