Another Glimpse into the mind of Tal

Pros and Cons of being an Alchemist

By Talmage Cresap

            There are some good things about being an alchemist. Being an alchemist is all about making potions, enchanting things and creating all the magical things that sorcerers, witches, wizards, warlocks and necromancers use and selling them to sorcerers, witches, wizards, warlocks and necromancers. Most alchemists are very rich. First of all some of the most powerful magic users in all times weren’t able to enchant all their stuff, which is why they hired alchemists to make all their stuff. And they were rich! An alchemist is a kind of enchanter. It is the kind that makes the more potion-like things. For example, they can put weird lotion on dragon eggs and they can help make wands. After that you’ll need to set up a stall somewhere in a place where a lot of magic users go. Put up a sign that says: “Magic Things for Sale!” And hopefully you’ll make a good profit (unless everybody’s already super powerful and already got all their stuff)!

            There is a downside to being an alchemist. It takes a lot of work to find the ingredients for the potions, such as phoenix feathers, dragon blood (very powerful), serpent venom, demon blood and all kinds of crazy things. Anyway, as I was saying, it is hard to find the stuff. First off, it’s nearly impossible to get dragon blood. First you would have to go to the realms of dragons, second you would have to cut a hole in the dragon’s skin, and third you have to suck out the dragon’s blood with a syringe—really hard to do! And serpent venom is also hard because it’s going to try to disintegrate you when you are trying to get its venom, unless you are a reptile sorcerer. (I should have mentioned that about dragons as well). To get phoenix feathers, first thing you need is super-fire proof armor, and then you need to go to the realm of the dragons, because they live in the realm of dragons also. So when you go in, the first thing you need is a fire-proof armor and fire-proof club, but it might not work. You may need to just pluck out its feathers while it’s trying to disintegrate you. An easier ingredient to find is magic herbs. First you have to defeat a man-eating plant of death and take out its herbs. Another ingredient that you might have to get is the spike of a manticore (A winged lion, with a human face that shoots spikes out of its tail.) You are supposed to jump on his tail, tame him with a magic charm, or offer him some stuff and he’ll just give you one. Another thing you’ll need is the tail of a chimera. (A chimera is a weird lion thing, with a goat head on its back and a snake for a tail. The tail is a very powerful thing, I don’t know why. Anyway, it spits fire all over the place.) First of all you’ll just need to cut it off. You might also need that fire-proof armor, again. Next, you will need the claws and feathers of a griffin. I don’t know why, but you’ll need them for something. And they make great necklaces. That’s difficult because a griffin is a super powerful beast. They are a combination of an eagle or a hawk and a lion. They can be really cute sometimes as babies and sometimes as adults, but you are after the tough-looking adult kind. They’re tough! Next: the horn of the Minotaur. If you play your cards right, he might just break off his horn and give it to you, because it can grow it back. But, usually you have to fight in a death-dual to the death, well not to the death, but you have to prove to him that you are strong and that you like cute things, like puppies and kittens. And finally: The Eye of the Cyclops. You are going to have to kill it. He’s not going to give it to you, because it’s his eye! And those are the cons about being an alchemist--getting the ingredients.